I am a recently-divorced, unexpectedly single mama of two delightful children. I am staying as anonymous as possible for their sake. Much (most?) of what I’m expecting to write about has to do with them, and I want, as much as I can, to protect their privacy. It’s a delicate balance, and I’ll probably mess it up as least as much as I get it right. I’m just convinced, at the moment, that the benefits (for me and for others) of raw and vulnerable writing outweigh the costs. I might be wrong, and if I am, I’ll stop. But for now, I’m relieved to have this space.
I have depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I’m a sexual abuse survivor. I suspect that those realities will influence what I write; I’m not sure how directly I will write about any of them. I will do my very best to provide trigger warnings in situations where it seems like it would be helpful. I will probably mess that up at least as much as I get it right, too. And if I do mess it up, please let me know. I — genuinely — appreciate gracious and constructive feedback.
I’m an attorney who provides free legal representation to veterans with disabilities. I believe tremendously in public service, but I struggle with something (jealousy?) when it comes to people who have jobs that pay substantial salaries. The absurdities of the legal profession consume just about any thought I have that isn’t a thought about how hard single parenting is, so — maybe — I’ll write about that a bit, too. Presently, I don’t have the luxury of having time for too many of those thoughts, and, usually, I’m able to hash them out with one of my beloved colleagues. Legal aid is a tough calling, but I’m grateful that I stumbled into it.
One of the things I’m trying to figure out (given this unexpected new season of life) is who I am, beyond my Tired Mama and professional identities. It’s weird, but I’m not sure yet. I know that I love sports, especially NCAA gymnastics, and college athletics generally, and all things related to the Olympics. I’m on a quest with my sister to run (“run”) a half marathon in every state. There was a time during and right after college that I trained for triathlons — which I really enjoyed– and perhaps, someday, I’ll find a way some day to work that back into my life. (For now, I’d take 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer, oh, say, once a week.)
I love Jesus. I love my Blue Ocean Faith church community. My faith is a little raw — not shaken, really, but raw — at the moment, so I’m not sure if it’s something I’ll write much about here. But I love my Sacred Ordinary Days planner, and the liturgical calendar generally, and the seasons of joy and sorrow, of anticipation and celebration, of work and rest that its continuous rhythm adds to my life.
I’m currently fascinated by the Enneagram, and might nerd out on that in here from time-to-time. (If it means anything to you, I’m a six.) I’m a caffeine addict; I will drink Diet Coke and/or triple shot lattes at all hours of the day or night. I also love Jelly Belly Sours and Wildberry (“Purple”) Skittles. I’m a people-pleaser. I barely know how to say no, but I’m working on it. I’m painfully shy and self-conscious, but I’m working on that too. I love to turn my radio up really loud and sing when I’m by myself in the car, but I do not sing in public, especially when my kids are around, because #itssoembarassingmom. I have been known to use kid-free nights to take myself, by myself, to Broadway musicals.
I’ve studied lots of things — Economics and Operations Research and French when I was in college. Public Policy Analysis right out of undergrad. Law School a while later. A bit of mandatory Air Force Professional Military Education along the way. My undergraduate academic adviser described me as having a “voracious appetite for learning” and I think that sums it up pretty well. There’s rarely been a topic I’ve encountered that I didn’t think was endlessly fascinating, so I anticipate musing about the various books and podcasts and articles and things that I come across a bit here too.
What I’m not is sponsored or endorsed or whatever it’s called when there are people or entities or products behind the things that get written. If I talk about something in my blog, it’s because it really is something that I use and love. (But hey — if anyone reading this has connections to Diet Coke, or Starbucks, or Jelly Belly, or any of the other things I rave about…we can talk!) If I link to something in my blog, it’s probably my experience as a student editor of an academic law journal coming through. (#everythingneedsacitation.) My therapist is encouraging me to Get of [My] Mind and Into [My] Life. This blog is just a first step: getting a few things out of my mind and onto the page. I’m delighted to have you along for the journey.